margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
