i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
