sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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