Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There r osticjed everywhere
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
