yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
