My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
