i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize