the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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