well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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