super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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