drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
