Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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