i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
