i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
my liver is dry heaving
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
