Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
