you win again, gameday.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
