I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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