yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
