Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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