Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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