My liver just broke up with me...
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
