When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
