i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
