Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
