then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
