No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
