Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
