He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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