Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
