Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
