You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
