Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
