Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
