I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
