going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
