I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
