why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
