Ambien. No doubt about it.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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