census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
