i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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