I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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