Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
