wrigley field is MILF paradise
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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