Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
