Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
