Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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