Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
