Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
