i need an iv and a liver transplant
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
