It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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