Already got asked if we're dating
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
